Thursday, December 11, 2008

Gwen asked me this morning.. momma, is it Christmas yet? No, sweetie.. 2 more weeks, then 1 week after that is YOUR birthday! Of course, she's excited.. she doesn't even know why! haha For her birthday, she's all about cake.. I'm sure she doesn't realize that presents are part of that equation. As for christmas, how can she even imagine the mudslide of gifts that will be falling her way all .. day... looong! It's hard to not at least try to be in the spirit when you have a 3 year old hopping around. Maybe the problem is that I am in the spirit.. just not the one that wants to send cards or go shopping. I really reeaally am not into that part this year. Usually I am.. to a point, but not right now! I told Shaun that I don't want to do cards. He gives me a line like.. buuut we haave to! Umm why? I wonder if I put him in charge of the cards, if they'll actually be sent? haha Many of the peole we send cards to read this page.. how bout this.. I'll say MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR and there.. it's done! Consider that your holiday greeting! Love the Ryan's! I think I'm having a psychological block against Christmas or something. Part of me is SUPER excited to share this time with Gwen.. she's at a great age for this type of thing. So much magic, the tree, presents, tunes, snow, icicles! She loves it all, and I love it more strongly because she's here. I just don't have the drive to do all the extra crap that we're supposed to be doing, ya know? It's just like we never sent cards out after Dresden's death.. I always think it's funny when you get your card from a death right away.. like I'm sitting at home just wondering where in the hell is that thank you card from the funeral!! Damn, I gave them a freaking crazy beautiful flower display and they never even sent a card! haha Seriously.. does anyone think that? I hope not.. sorry if you do - sending thank you notes after my kid dies isn't on the top of my things to do list. There are many many things that I want to do.. heck, I've been meaning to go grocery shopping for about a week! Somehow we just keep scrounging things to eat. There is this terrible quality I have.. when i don't want to do something.. I just... don't... you can see why that can be a bad thing! AND an almost equally bad quality is that when I DO want something.. I can be pretty obsessed at getting it.. immediately or sooner! Wow, this is a really strange post, isn' t it? I should probably delete it.. I don't even know what the title should be.. Crazy woman types again or something? hmm I'm not drunk, I swear! My thoughts almost sound like I am.. Shaun, if you're reading this.. you're on christmas card duty! ;) (of course I could just TELL him this, since he's sitting right next to me.. but it's funnier if he reads it! haha) Well, if you made it through this mess of a post then you are a great listener.. and definitely DESERVE a card! LOVE YOU ALL!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

We aren't doing cards this year either. Anyone dense enough to be offended probably wasn't a good enough friend to merit being on my Christmas card list anyway!! I must say - it's very liberating ... and I'm right there with you on the "not doing" thing. Is this the "lethargic" stage of grief!?

Jill

Shannon Ryan said...

Thanks Jill! I knew I wouldn't be the only one! :)

The Fabulous Ms. Beth said...

I did cards this year only to pass the time more quickly. The year we lost Charlie.. forget it! No cards were sent, nothing was done....I was lucky to shower every day, or eat at least one meal a day... :)
Take time to do nothing this year! You deserve it.

:)

Melissa said...

((HUGS)) If you don't feel up to sending cards, then don't. I know everyone would understand...and if they don't...there is something wrong with them!

Sometimes you need to just let your thoughts go. Doesn't matter how much sense it makes.

Heather E said...

I don't feel like sending cards either and I surely haven't had to deal with the loss you have. Your blog has kept us up to date and with pictures too. Release yourself from the cards this year!

Michelle said...

We're not doing Christmas cards either this year. It's kind of liberating. Once I got around to thinking about ordering them online and getting the pictures I wanted for them, I figured, why bother!? No one would get them until January anyway! Besides, being off for 12 weeks, can't really afford that extra expense and postage. Good to see we aren't the only ones along that frame of mind...normally by this point, a week before Chrsitmas, our front door is covered, but we only have 3rows! So to all of you also saving money and trees, Happy Holidays to you!