Sunday, March 22, 2009

Papa

2 years ago my grandpa died.. I never called him grandpa, he was my papa. He was the only man who was part of my life for the whole thing. I was his "shannon banana" and he sang my song every time I entered a room - Shannon banana and I come to say, banana's are ripening in a special way shaaaaaaaaaannnoooon! Until Gwen was born, then usually he sang her song first.. she was the little banana.. he had names for pretty much all of us. Nearly 30 grandchildren and we were all special to him.. and the great grandchildren were just as special. He did "the cow" for all the kids... man, did he love doing the cow, and the kids usually loved it just as much!! Just yesterday as we were passing 'cemetary road' as I call it, Gwen said, "I"m going to do a cow for papa - MOOOOO and then a little cow moooo" I was so crushed when he died, knowing that Gwen only got to know him for a year.. and that he loved her so much, and loved seeing me be a mother to her, I also just loved watching them interact together. Last year I wrote in Dresden's journal how sad I was that he and any other children who pass through my womb would never know papa, it actually made me wish I'd started having children a whole lot sooner... but of course, we never know what the future holds, do we? I realize how lucky I am to have such loving family and beautiful memories of spending time with ma and papa. They really did make us all feel special in our own way... I mean, I'd have to say that I am a favorite - I lived with them as a baby for a while (with my mom too), took countless trips up north sitting on ma's lap in the front seat, sleeping in bed with them in the middle with the grandkid pillow... but what's so awesome is that if you talk to almost any of my cousins, they'd say the same thing.. that THEY were the favorite! ;) (but I know it was me!) When Dresden died, we put some of his ashes at papa's grave.. I knew he would have wanted us to. I knew that if papa's soul was out there anywhere, that he was crying right along with us. I miss you papa. 2 years has gone by and it has gotten easier, but the void you left will always remain. Lucky for me.. I believe in reincarnation.. so who really knows when I'll see you again? I think I will!
In loving memory
William Adkins
8/24-3/22/07
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :)

6 comments:

Heather E said...

Shannon, thank you for sharing so much about your Papa! I know he was a very special and important man to you. It was nice to read about a few specific memories you had!

Beth Skog said...

So sweet to hear the stories about your papa :) I love the fact that they were co-sleepers...I also love how they made all of you feel so special and that you were each the favorite! What a blessing!

k@lakly said...

Thinking of you and your Papa.
xxoo

Fireflyforever said...

Thank you for sharing your Papa with us Shannon.

Penny said...

Sorry Shannon, I was the favorite! He called me Penny Poo! Just kidding:) We all love and miss him very much.

Melissa said...

Oh Shannon. That really touched me and made me cry! He sounds like he was a wonderful man and wonderful Grandfather. I too lost my Grandpa a few years ago and them my Mother a year after. I know just how you feel. That Kieran and any future children will never know them and that they don't even no my children and niece exist(or do they?).

Your Grandpa with live on in memories that you can share with your kiddo's.

(((HUGS)))